I Will Run Away (Run Away) With You!

This past week, I discovered so much about myself, through the actions of my girls. It was eye-opening to have a firsthand look into my own reactionary processes as they made choices.

Some of my girls have moved into a different house. They are still on the same base, in the same quintal (yard), and I hope that they will still stay connected in some ways to Casa Profetica. At the same time, I think it will be great for them to form new relationships.

I walked into a somewhat heated situation on Monday evening. One of my girls was crying; another was gripping the top bunk, as if to save her life. The girls' Director asked if I would come and help. So in I walked...the energy level in the room was absolutely off the charts, and it was well past time for them to be in bed (or at the very least in their rooms).

So, while I was taking one from her bunk in my house to the next house, to settle her in to her new bed and house, the other decided that she didn't want to stay. So she left the base. I finally had a chance to talk with the first of them after she calmed down a bit, and she decided that she would stay in the new room. She was not happy with it, but she was also exhausted. And I am happy to say that she has stayed in her new house and is forming friendships, though definitely still in "adjusting" phase.

My other interaction was a little more challenging. It was the first time I ever wanted God to just download a language for me, so I could communicate with this scared, angry child. The blank look on her face, with tears streaming down...I recognized that feeling. And I couldn't do anything for her. She had to choose. The older girls had gone to bring her back, as she really wanted to run away. And now, at 10:30 at night, she was sitting on the steps outside of one of the girls' dorms, crying, angry, sad, scared, hurt. She decided to stay that night. And for that, I was thankful.

The next morning, I came onto the base to find that she had run away that morning. She packed her stuff in the house (but didn't take it with her!!! surely a sign that she would return) and then walked off the base. I was heartbroken. I began to pray that she would be safe and that she would make good choices. I could do nothing but pray. It is hard to feel powerless, but so freeing to know that I could leave her in the arms of her Daddy to take care of her.

And still, I wanted with everything in me, to run after her, and bring her back to safety.

She did return after one night off base, staying with a friend/family member in the village nearby. I am thrilled to have her back on base!!!

As I processed through some of this, I had a few revelations about myself.

1. I feel things deeply, but often cannot express it with words.

2. I have grown to love these girls...LOVE them (and sometimes that means letting them walk away and come back on their own)

3. I would rather run away with someone, than be on my own.

I think that #3 was the most surprising to me. I like being on my own. I enjoy my own company. But I would rather know that He is with me in the midst of it all. And if I want to run away when things get difficult and challenging, I would rather run into than away from Him. The rock of safety, hidden in the cliffs...yup, I would rather be there than weathering the storm all on my own.

When I saw that angry, so-hot-my-tears-are-steaming-on-my-cheeks face, I was instantly overwhelmed with sadness that she seemingly could not express herself with words. Because I understand that face. I know those eyes. I recognized them. And if I were not walking through my own process of dealing with my stuff with Jesus, I would not be able to even recognize that girl. But He has a bigger plan, and it's helping me to realize that nothing we walk through, with or without Him (our choice), is useless or pointless. He can redeem and use it, and that's what He's good at!!!

So, all told, my life here is good. Challenging, and good. And it makes me happy to know that I have Someone I can run away with, right into His arms of safety.